SCOTT'S THOTTS

I have to share the email my brother Scott wrote. He is a good writer and I appreciated his humor and especially his view of this gas crisis!!! If you are like me it will make you chuckle...but also think..



Hello Family and Friends May 9, 2008

Sometimes I think that Americans are the dumbest people not only on planet Earth, but quite possibly in the Universe. As I was filling my truck up with gas the other day, I watched as the dollar indicator spun around like some wild, out of control pinwheel. As it spun and spun and spun, I got madder and madder and madder. Are we a bunch of retards or something?
Here is my thoughts on this. I have thought about this for sometime, and Dad's words on Sunday rekindled my thoughts. If there is anyone out there who thinks that we are going to solve any significant portion of our energy needs by building wind farms, they get to step to the front of the Moron Line. If there is anyone who thinks we are going to get any significant portion of our energy needs by solar power, or some water powered car that we have been promised for the last 50 years, or one that runs on air or some other ridiculous thing, they too get to step to the front of the Moron Line.
Here is my solution. First, tomorrow, and I mean tomorrow, we start construction on about 50 new Nuclear Power plants. Each state has to have one, if they want more good on them. Put them all over the place. If needs be put them on top of Mt Rushmore for Pete’s sake, just make them. If there are the weirdo’s who are all afraid of Nuclear Power, they are the ones that either shut up, or get sent to the Falkland Islands where they can roam green pastures and windswept hillsides with Sheep and the other idiots like them.
Second, Drill for oil. I mean it. Drill everywhere. Alaska, Offshore, onshore, shallow, deep, left, right, and up and down. Don’t stop drilling for oil until we have oil wells producing enough oil that we can tell the OPEC countries, that they now can go stand in the front of the Moron Line. Again if anyone gets in the way of this…they get a one-way ticket to the Falkland Islands. No oil wells down there I hear.
Third. We sit on more coal than almost anywhere in the World. Time to start using it. Use it smart and use it a lot. Make oil from coal, make gas from coal, I would even be in favor of making the new Capitol of the United States building out of coal. Just get it, and use it.
Fourth. Anytime a politician says, “We need to punish Big Oil!” they get hit with 25 paintballs from a paintball gun at close range. I will volunteer to go first. Are they mad? They think that Oil Companies are like this one man sitting in his smoking chair, drinking brandy, and rubbing his hands together saying, “How can I bleed the people even more?” Oil companies are just that, companies. They are in it to make money. Then when they make money, they spend money in looking for more oil to make more money. I am OK with that. Who else is going to find the oil? Hillary? Obama? McCain? Yeah…right. In fact I would be in favor of cutting all kinds of taxes on the oil companies and giving them the ‘Sky is the limit” kind of a deal, so they can go out and find more oil.
Fifth. Get rid of the stupid windmill power plant things. I thought we were smarter than that. How much land do we have to set aside (That could be used for drilling for oil) to build these stupid wind plants that do nothing but chop birds up when they fly through it. Those who don’t like it…I hear the Falkland Islands are windy. Hint hint.
Sixth. We find anyone who was involved in the corn for ethanol thing, and we give him or her long prison sentences. I think they should be made to serve their time working on an oilrig DRILLING FOR OIL!!!! What a moronic idea was that? Maybe we aren’t as smart as I thought we were, if we keep electing people who think these kinds of ideas are smart.
And seventh, we ban any talk of Global Warming, or anything that even hints at it. We take Al Gore out to the west desert of Utah, and line him up on the Pony Express Trail and shoot him with paintballs for hours, no days on end. And when we run out of paintballs, we start shooting him with rubber bands at close range. This is his punishment for LIFE, for bringing up this stupid Global Warming thing, and trying to make all the “Concerned People” go “Green” I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
If I sound bitter, it probably is because I am. Come on people, this is America; Land of the free, home of the brave. We spend gillions of dollars sending space probes all around the Solar System doing only God knows what, and we cant solve this oil/energy thing?
Anyway, I guess I better go take some Klonopin and calm down and go to bed.

Love you all,

Scott