To all the people behind me at the checkout stand at Walmart on Saturday night: I am so sorry you had to wait in line for 45 plus minutes while the VERY thorough checker examined all of my 100 plus coupons! (I did save $130 dollars...go me!)
To the 1977 Orem High Tigerettes: I am so sorry you had to drive around the streets of Orem looking for me on the school bus. You see I knew that if I went with you on the week long competition tour that I would become homesick and so I thought it was easier to lie to you and tell you that I "was walking to the school with my stuff and we must have just missed each other" when actually I was home hiding under my bed.
To Mrs Read: I am so sorry that I peed on the floor by the door. I was standing by the door with my hand raised like I was supposed to do to go to the bathroom and you never looked at me and gave me the nod to go. And it just all came out.
My right ear: So sorry I poured fingernail polish remover in my ear canal. I had reasoned with myself that it was the nearest thing to rubbing alcohol that I could find in the house and the water in my ear WAS BUGGING me and so I thought that it was close enough to alcohol that it would do the job. It did the job all right of getting the water out along with burning the CRUD out of my ear. I thought I would be deaf in it for the rest of my life!!
To my sweetheart: So sorry that I stood you up 3 times in a row. Guess I had to grow up. Thanks for giving me a 4th chance...
Jarom: So sorry that I broke my hand on your HARD head. 13 year old boys shouldn't cuss at their moms and expect them to calmly take it. NEXY TIME I WILL USE THE BROOM!! (How many times did you hear this?)
To my girls: Sorry for cutting your bangs short...thought I was doing a good job?
Alisha: So sorry you had to always remind me the right thing to do. Every mother needs a child who keeps her on the straight and narrow.
LaVor: So sorry that I cut my waist long hair off to my shoulders and got a perm that looked like a lion and spent $50 that we didn't have. I know one of the reasons you married me was for my hair...or at least I thought.
To the Scera Park Elementary Administration: So sorry I left campus and ran home without telling anyone. I had to poop so bad and I just couldn't go in the school bathrooms. (At least I didn't do it in my pants)
To my kids: So sorry that I made that noodle soup with of all the left overs in the fridge and made you eat it for dinner. I will never live that down.
Carly and Lacey: "Laugh, Laugh your big fat head offs!!! You don't have give an inkling of what I do around here!!" So sorry I gave you such a good laugh.
Kiara: So sorry that I wasn't paying closer attention when 11 month old Alisha pulled you off the bed when you were newborn and dragged you by your feet into the kitchen to tell me, "Baby crying!" Thank heavens no brain damage occured!
All my kids: Sorry you have such a crazy mom!
9 comments:
I love it! And fingernail polish in your ear? I haven't heard that story before... how old were you? What did Grandma do?
hahahaha!
Those are HILARIOUS. I'm NOT sorry you posted them so we could all laugh! The two haircut ones were my favorites.
Oh my goodness, fingernail polish in your ear? Ouch!!! How did you ever get it all out?
HA HA HA! Thanks for the good laugh! It's nice to hear that other mom's say silly things out of frustration to their kids! :) AAANNNDDD they laugh about it!
Alisha...I made a typo, it was fingernail polish remover and I was married and had several kids. It was in San Diego. It know it was stupid!
I love these! You make me laugh! I think it's funny that I have heard about several of those stories....I remember when you told me the Alisha-dragging-Kiara story: Kelly was about 14 months old and Michael was 1 month old and i was crying b/c Kelly wouldn't leave the baby alone...You made me feel so much better! I thought "if a really amazing mom like Michelle can have that that happen, I guess I'll be ok too...."! You've always been an inspiration to me! :)
And I remeber how bad you felt about breaking your hand on Jarom's head! ;)
So I have lots of these and some are funny and then there was your ear canal sorry and I think I almost died laughing. Thanks for the good laugh!
My favorite is the tigrettes. You are too funny. It's crazy that at one point you wouldn't leave your mom and now we can barely get you back here! It was really funny good job mom.
Post a Comment